Crabby Abby

Well, I can't say we weren't warned. It appears that last Sunday Abby was kidnapped and replaced by a spawn from mothership colic. And you are thinking "I thought she already had colic" and funny, but I find myself thinking the same thing.

It turns out that no. Not at all. Previously, Abby was fussy. NOW Abby has colic. And per doctor's warning, we are in the peak period. This is characterized by the peak of "pain" in Abby and the peak of frustration, anger, resentment, discouragement and "I suck at being a parent" in me. There is something so completely disheartening about doing everything I can to "fix" what is causing the crying and getting no effect at all.

Abby is undergoing what I think is some sort of mid-development crisis. She cries a whole lot more lately, and non-coincidentally, so do I. The worst crying is done during feeding time.

It begins when she wakes up from a nap smacking her lips. This is her subtle hint that she is a little bit hungry and could use some food sometime soon. So, I change her and talk to her, rub her belly, put her on her tummy on her tummy-time mat and go to make her some food. Within 1 minute, it is apparent that Abby is no longer slightly hungry but is absolutely STARVING and cannot wait another 10 seconds for food without willowing away. I make and mix her formula as quickly as possible while chanting across the room "I'm coming! Oh, Abby! When was the last time you starved to death!"

Finally, I pick up Abby from the horrible tummy time torture mat and bring her to the chair for her feeding. After a complicated calming exercise of rubbing her head and kissing her face, I get the bottle in her mouth. Abby makes an extremely satisfied noise with the first few sips which Adam and I mimic as "nyum, nyum, nyum". Abby's eyes connect with mine, her hands fold together over her chest, and I begin to think we are calming down.

Ah, but there was my mistake. About 15 sips in, Crabby Abby emerges. First she gets frantic. I can see it in her eyes. They get HUGE and she arches her back. Then she starts whining (yes, while drinking). This gets messy as formula starts spewing out of the sides of her mouth. The worst is yet to come. Inevitably, I find myself playing the "keep the bottle in her mouth" game while she violently thrashes side to side. This is all while she is STILL EATING. It ends when she finally full on cries and can no longer eat. Then I sit her up to burp her and she completely stops crying and stares at the posters on the wall like nothing happened.

I sometime wonder if she is just trying to convince me that my home confinement has made me dillusional. She looks at me after the burp like "Ok, so I am ready for more!!" And I am thinking "Ok, but I need a break after my recent bi-cep workout".

Yes, I have tried feeding her while she is sitting up to answer your question in advance. The only thing that this does is cause the spewing to get better distance. She actually got some on the cat one time. Poor Whiskers had no idea what hit him.

For those of you who are concerned with Abby's health, or are going to surmise that she has a formula allergy, it is not the case. Abby's symptoms have been discussed with the doc and she is just "fine". We are "waiting it out". Some say for another week, some say until she is three months, and Adam and I were thinking that this might last until she is 16. I can't seem to picture an Abby who is awake without being all out of sorts.

Maybe she whines because she doesn't know what to do with herself. Well, Abby, I am not sure what to do with yourself either. But, I love you. We love you. And despite how hard it is for us, I know it is much harder for you. I hope we get through this soon, and you don't have to hurt anymore. We can't wait to have you back.