An Unplanned Plan

Looking back on Abigail's birth and her coming into existence, Adam and I realize just how special she must be. It is absolutely clear to me that God has some sort of plan for something for her. It might be her directly, or she may be a part of a ancestrial plan to create some special person down the line. Either way, I am convinced that she is meant to be here right NOW. She arrived just on time completely unplanned.

Let's start with the most obvious:

1. I was on the pill which had worked perfectly for 4 years.

2. It was an extremely stressful time of the year - tax season.

3. 3 negative pregnancy tests cannot be wrong.

4. Urinary tract infection including antibiotics which should NEVER be taken when pregnant.

5. Visit with the "you are fat" doctor due to horrible, life-threatening illness including ALL DAY sickness, ginger ale and saltine diet only and constant dizziness. His diagnosis? Ulcer. Took prilosec for 2 weeks which should NEVER be taken when pregnant.

Let's interject here my constant craving for velvetta shells and cheese and milkshakes to which my mom responded "you are pregnant" and to which I responded "No, I am not. If this is what it feels like to be pregnant - no one would ever do it".

6. Call to the "you are fat" doctor to check up on sickness and why prilosec is not working. He responds by telling me to double the dosage....because! I am fat!

7. Call to new doctor to get second opinion. He listens to my rambling, tells me the "you are fat" doctor sucks, and tells me I am pregnant.

"Ha. No. I am not".
"Yes"
"No-oh!"
"Yes"
"No?"
"...Yes"

8. Call to gynocologist who tells me that unless I have decided to keep the baby -she will not see me. In the meantime, I am getting bad pains in my lower tummy. Call back to gynocologist who rushes me to ultra sound to ensure baby is not ectopic (ie going to rupture my fellopian tubes) We find out I am 13 weeks pregnant - baby looks like a baby on ultrasound.

9. Back to doctor to "check-up" on my pregnant status. He notices a very bad heart murmer and sends me for an echocardiogram. (Turns out find in the end)

10. Ordered by gynocologist to go get level II ultrasound to ensure nothing is wrong with the baby especially after the "you are fat" doctor tried to kill it. Ultra-sound shows two potentially bad things:

1. Placenta Lakes (baby might drown - just kidding) These are large pools of blood in the placenta to which the ultra-sound tech says "i have never seen them this big". We never found out why these are bad.

2. Echogenic focus on the baby's heart. This is sometimes indicative of down syndrome.

We leave ultrasound with orders for genetic counseling, follow up ultrasounds and testing for down syndrome.

11. We go to genetic counselor who tells us there is little concern but asks about the down syndrome test results. We note that it has only been a week since I have had the test taken. She notes that that means the test is done and ready and gets us the negative results over the phone. 5 weeks later my gynocologist calls with the same results (thanks for the quick response there...)

12. Return for additional ultra-sound. The nurse notes that the echogenic focus on her intestines (note it was origially on her HEART) is ok. (she confused us w/ another couple - but since she ordered an additional ultra sound, we werent going to pass up the chance to see Abby again...)

13. Return again for last ultra-sound. Everything looks ok and baby is in the right position (this turns out bad later).

14. Get letter from gyno that says she is leaving the practice 1 month before I am due but will continue to take patients at a local office. She will also be "borrowing" the referrals secretary (introduce CINDI) from the OLD practice who did not tell the OLD practice she is working for NEW practice - therefore she can only work after hours.

15. Try and make appointment with CINDI. She never returns my call.

16. Try and switch back to old practice - and CINDI finally returns my call. Make appointment.

17. Get pubic symphasis. A condition where the baby has a lighter in utero and actually lights your pelvis on fire at the most inopportune moments (such as trying to walk or turn over in bed). Burning gets so bad that it is impossible to turn over in bed without writhing in pain.

18. Go to gyno for the millionth check-up where she does an internal exam. She feels around, gets big eyes and leaves the room. She comes back and immediately asks:

"when was your last ultra sound?"
"10 weeks ago"
"we need you to go again"
"what is wrong?"
"we cant find the baby's head"
"maybe that is why I lost 3 pounds this week?"
*non-amused look from gyno*

(how can you lose a head?!??!?)

19. Ultra sound shows baby Abigail almost indian style breach. C-section necessary. Open appointment on October 18th which is grandpa's birthday ( a very good choice). Call CINDI for appointment. She never calls back. It is a week before the 18th. Call doctor frantically two days later and note that my c-secion has not been scheduled. C-section can now only be scheduled on the 19th.

20. CINDI tells me she will call me with information on getting bloodwork done on the 18th. It is the 17th and NO CALL. surprised? I stop by the office and get information on where to go.

21. Get to hospital on the 18th. Lab says they do not have orders from the doctor to take my labs. They cannot reach the doctor ...or CINDI. Nice nurse makes exception and takes labs so that I can have the c-section.

22. Morning of c-section walk into hospital maternity ward and nurse says:

"who are you".
"Courtney ******"
*look of bewilderment*
"Not the name you were looking for?"
"No, I thought you were someone else"
"Well, I have a c-section scheduled for this morning"
"OH! Come on in this room"

23. Blood pressure machine won't work on me.

24. Nurse says "we lost your labs from yesterday"

25. Adam and I hear from my hospital room "We don't have a scrub tech b/c we didnt know there was a c-section this morning" "We can borrow one from the ER but they need to be back on time so the c-section has to go on time" "Do you know where doctor Jackson is? (my gyno)"

26. Found my labs.

27. Ana...the gas lady hits a nerve which makes my leg twitch while she is trying to make me numb. Nurse yells at me for moving.

28. Scrub tech from ER arrives and scrubs.

29. I throw up a couple times during the operation.

30. Abigail has her cord wrapped around her neck twice and thigh once - never would have come out naturally.

And after all of that surgery goes off without a hitch, perfectly healthy baby girl is born, and the most beautiful baby I have ever seen is placed in my hands. Her little forhead wrinkles at the sound of my voice. Her eyes fix on my face but only for a second.

And here I am 11 weeks later enjoying every moment of her. Laughing more with her than I have with the funniest of friends. Feeling my heart, ACTUALLY FEELING my heart grow when she starts laughing at me in the middle of a feeding. Milk dripping out the sides of her mouth. Little giggles for no reason at all except she was looking at me. She likes me. She likes me and I love her more than I could imagine.


She was unplanned by me, but meticulously planned by God. And if the above doesn't convince you of that...I don't know what would. I can't help but think that God must miss her little spirit in heaven, and I can't help but thank Him for allowing me the joy of loving her.